Sunny Naing

I never imagined life would change so drastically. Three years ago, I was teaching mechanical engineering at a university in Naypyidaw, Myanmar, enjoying the routine of lectures and guiding students through problem-solving. It was fulfilling. But when the war began, everything I knew disappeared. The protests, at first peaceful, turned violent. Many of my friends were taken, tortured, or killed. It was clear the junta wasn’t going to stop.

Joining the People’s Defense Force (PDF) wasn’t something I planned, but it felt necessary. At first, I fought on the ground, like many others. But as time passed, my skills as an engineer shifted my role. Now, at 39, I specialize in making bombs. It still feels strange, like this isn’t my real life. I learned most of what I know from YouTube tutorials, which sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. We scavenge materials wherever we can—sometimes from neighboring countries—and use 3D printers to build drones. Every day, we improvise, but it works.

I think a lot about the days when I used to teach. I miss the simplicity of it—the sense of building something positive, nurturing young minds. Now, I build devices that destroy. Each bomb I put together weighs heavily on me, knowing what it will be used for. I don’t like it, but I also understand why it has to be done. Peaceful protests didn’t change anything. Instead, they cost us lives.

Twenty bombs a day—that’s my current reality. I never thought I’d be doing this, and certainly not so efficiently. It goes against who I am at my core. I’m not a violent person. I hate this war, but I can’t turn away from it. Too much has happened. I’ve seen too many friends die. The junta’s cruelty has left us no choice.

It’s hard to reconcile the man I was with the man I’ve become. But I have to believe that what we’re doing is necessary, that it will eventually bring back peace and democracy to Myanmar. I keep telling myself that once this is over, I’ll go back to teaching, back to the life I once knew. But for now, I keep moving forward, driven by desperation and hope.