Joao Lopes

Training sessions with my club usually start early, but today, I woke up even earlier. The dawn in Rio, Brazil, was beautiful, and I took a few moments on my balcony to soak it in before heading to the stadium.

I’ve been a professional footballer for a few years now, playing for a world-famous club and proudly wearing the Brazilian national team jersey. At 25, I’ve achieved dreams many only fantasize about. Yet, behind the roar of the crowd and the adrenaline of the pitch, there's a part of me that remains hidden, even from those closest to me.

You see, I’m gay. It’s a simple fact, yet in the world of football, it complicates everything. On the field, in the locker room, from the stands – comments and jokes that devalue and degrade are commonplace. The fear of rejection and devaluation by fellow players, officials, and spectators looms large. Here, homosexuality is equated with weakness, a stigma that many of us silently endure.

I’ve often wondered if it’s worth it. The constant pretense, the alibi girlfriend at events, the effort to move and behave in ways deemed "masculine" enough. The sport that should be my sanctuary sometimes feels like a prison. I’ve thought about walking away, but then I remember why I started playing in the first place – the love for the game, the thrill of a perfectly executed pass, the joy of a goal celebrated with teammates.

I hope for a day when this part of my life won’t be a secret. When being gay won’t be seen as a scandalous revelation but just another facet of who I am. We’ve made strides in society, but the world of football remains stubbornly heteronormative. I dream of a future where gay footballers can be open without fear of backlash, where our worth isn’t measured by our sexual orientation but by our talent and dedication.

But for now, that day feels distant. So, I lace up my boots, plaster on a smile, and step onto the pitch. Because despite it all, I still love this game. I just hope that one day, the beautiful game will be truly beautiful for everyone who plays it.